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Orange County Death Cafe September 3, 2026

Event Series (See All)

September 3 @ 6:00 pm – 8:00 pm

Join us at Endswell Funeral Home on September 3 from 6-8PM for a potluck and open discussion with the community around your questions about death and dying.

First Thursday Orange County Death Café

September 3rd 2026

407 Meadowlands Dr, Hillsborough, NC 27278

Facilitated by: James McKelvey & Justin Dillree

jamesOCDC2026@gmail.com

Several Death Cafés in Durham and Orange Counties:

  • –Orange County Death Café: 1st Thursday each month, 6:00-8:00pm – Endswell FH, 407 Meadowlands Dr., Hillsborough. Moderator: James McKelvey & Facilitator: Justin Dillree. Registration at https://endswellfuneralhome.com/news-and-events/.
  • –Hillsborough Death Café: 2nd Monday each month, 5:45-7:45pm – 903 Eno Street, Hillsborough, facilitated by: Neidra Clark. Register by contacting Neidra at neidra@mindspring.com.
  • –Death Café Noire: 2nd Saturday each month, 2:00-4:00pm – Durham South Regional Library, facilitated by: Traci Hathaway. Registration is not needed.
  • –Daylight Death Café: 3rd Monday each month, 9:30-11:00am – Seymour Center, Chapel Hill, facilitated by John Chase. Register by contacting the Seymour Center front desk at 919-968-2070.
  • –Orange County Death Café: 3rd Wednesday each month, 6:00-8:00pm – Endswell FH, 407 Meadowlands Dr., Hillsborough. Facilitated by: Sara Williams, Registration at https://endswellfuneralhome.com/news-and-events/.
  • –SaSouthwest Durham Death Café: 4th Monday each month, 5:30-7:30pm – Southwest Regional Library, Shannon Road, Durham. Facilitated by: Tammy Morales & Justin Dillree. Registration is not needed.
  • –LGBTQ+ Death Café: 4th Thursday each month, 1:30-3:00pm – Seymour Center, Chapel Hill. Facilitated by: Tsyr Han Chow. Register by contacting the Seymour Center front desk at 919-968-2070.

ANNOUNCEMENTS:

  • –Questions or concerns about Death Cafe?
    ○ All Death Cafe questions or concerns should be communicated with
    James McKelvey or Justin Dillree either in person or via the OCDC email
    at: (jamesOCDC2026@gmail.com)
    ○ Please, only direct questions about Endswell facilities and accessibility to
    the Endswell website or staff.
  • -Each Death Cafe group is uniquely comprised of individuals from many different
    walks in life, and we all have valuable experiences to share with each other. In
    spaces such as OCDC, we often share vulnerable perspectives with one another
    and can easily overlook how others may perceive our message.

∾

*When sensitive topics arrive in our conversations, it is important to keep
the core objective of Death Cafe in focus, which is to:
“Increase awareness of death with a view to helping
people make the most of their (finite) lives”

Death Cafe is a safe space where we are all invited to openly express our
questions and opinions about death & dying. It is important that we keep our
messaging friendly and polite for everyone, especially those who may have a different point of view from our own.

When asking questions or offering feedback, please remember that we all
come from diverse perspectives, and it is important to positively support our
opportunity to enjoy spending healthy time together as a group by keeping each meeting an agenda free space.

∾

FIRST THURSDAY CONVERSATIONS:

Quote:

  • –“If your life’s dreams can be achieved in a lifetime, your dreams are too small…”

Not afraid, but scared:

  • -Fear surrounding the uncertainty of what happens as we die can affect how we feel about what we do when we are alive.
    • -How much control do we have over our death?
    • -How much control do we have over our lives?

Quote:

  • –“People ask me what I want from my death…”

End of life decisions:

  • -MAID: Medical Aid In Dying
  • -POA: Power of Attorney, Advanced Directive, & Living Will

If you knew: the day, place, and time of your death – what would you do with the rest of your life?

Preparation:

  • -How do we prepare ourselves for death?
  • -How do we prepare our death for others?
  • -How do we prepare others for their lives after our death?

Advanced Directive:

  • -Clear communication is key:
    • -Let others know you have an Advanced Directive & what your wishes are
    • -Choose people you trust & know – who also know you deeply
  • -Ideally someone you would not have to tell what decisions you would make – they would already know
    • -Sets a legal precedent or guideline for family & loved ones to rely upon
    • -Also becomes a conduit of preserving requests of those who have already
      passed on

Quote:

  • –“Obligation of respect for the community & those who care for me”

2 Weeks:

  • -Would a 2 weeks notice of death help?
  • -Would more time make it better?

Quote:

  • –“When you die – what would you like to be holding in your hand?”

Quote:

  • –“The greatest gift to give your loved ones is to have your house in order”

Rights after dying:

  • -Do the dead have rights?
  • -Who has rights over the body?

Rituals:

  • –Quote:
    • –“Death is not the end of me”
  • -The sacred arrival (birth) & the sacred departure (death)
  • -Religious context
  • -Family traditions
  • -Other Cultural influences
    • -Modern practices vs. Old practices
    • -What causes change in ritual practices over time?

Ambiguous Loss:

  • -Physically missing – psychologically absent
  • -War deaths, Addiction, Dementia, Estrangement
  • -Finalization of relationship death (within the mind of the observer) has not occurred, and the end of the relationship remains ambiguous
  • –“You can’t cope with something unless you know what it is”
  • – “…if you don’t see it, it didn’t happen”

Recommendations:

Books:

Links:

Videos:

Endswell Funeral Home

407 Meadowlands Dr
Hillsborough, NC 27278 United States + Google Map
(919) 907-9777
View Venue Website