Obituary
Diane L. Esterly, loving and devoted wife of 61 years to Bryan H. Esterly, of Apex, NC passed away on December 5, 2024 comfortably under hospice care, with her immediate family by her side, filling the room with love. A free spirit with a heart of gold, she leaves behind her husband, Bryan “Buddy”, son Bryan “Chip” L. Esterly (wife, Tracy) of Hope Mills and daughter Kristin D. Esterly Robinson (husband, Russell) of Kernersville, NC, and her grandchildren Derek Bryan Esterly (wife, Anna) of Chantilly, Va. and Andrew Bryce Esterly (wife, Callie) of Fayetteville, NC,
Diane Louise Fenstermaker was born November 5, 1939 in Reading Hospital, PA and grew up in Kutztown, Pa. Her parents were Lawrence and Dorothy Fenstermaker. She was a feisty, vibrant, comedic, popular, non-conforming, active, redhead and was known fondly as “Red” during her teenage years. These wonderful traits remained throughout her entire life, as she admirably never let her authentic self or inner child hide.
Diane was a 1957 graduate of Kutztown Area High School, Kutztown, PA. She received a BS degree in Physical Education from Gettysburg College. She was a gifted athlete, playing basketball and field hockey in college, and later, in 1988, was honored by induction into the Gettysburg College Athletic Hall of Fame.
She and Bryan moved to Cary, NC in 1966 (a work move with IBM) and raised their family in Cary for 23 years before moving to Apex, NC.
Diane always had a strong interest in children with special needs and pursued further education at NC State University, receiving a Masters Degree in Special Education in 1988. Diane was also an avid reader, and a very talented writer and musician; she was quite accomplished in piano and trumpet. She played piano beautifully and effortlessly since her teens and continued playing her entire life, finally realizing her dream of owning a grand Bosendorfer piano about 25 years ago. She loved getting jazzed up by band music and participated in multiple bands, including the Little German Band and other community brass bands, playing cornet throughout her adult life. She loved music and always had music in her heart. (For heights and depths no words can reach, music was her soul’s own speech.) Her talents extended into teaching herself other musical instruments, including flute and harp, and she was always drawn to peculiar and less-known instruments, like the dulcimer, psaltery, woodrow, and didgeridoo. Her collection of tin whistles was vast, and she carried one on her person for decades. In this way, she was never without music and was able to create tunes wherever she went.
Diane recorded dozens of piano CDs at her home with her beloved piano “Bosey”. Some recordings were original compositions, and most were grouped by theme or holiday. She passed these CDs out to friends and acquaintances wherever she went and with those she seemed to connect. Her belief was “Music Heals” and she wanted to contribute to healing the planet. Even those acquaintances in her travels who may not remember her full name knew exactly who she was by her lively personality and fun-loving, colorful appearance. However, they mostly knew her because of her energy. She exuded a special light of eccentric authenticity, joy, laughter and whimsy and people responded like magnets to her spiritedness. She never shut down her playfulness and creativity and by being herself without apology, she silently spoke to those she encountered and always brought a smile to their faces and hearts. Her cosmic energy was a real and tangible part of who she was (and still is), and she was a living example of joy personified.
Diane was the heart and soul of her family and she lived her life honestly and gave unconditional love to her family, always putting others first. She was full of empathy, consistently offering a listening ear, words of encouragement, wisdom, and kindness to her family and friends.
Diane worked in her early adult years as an educator, but a career was never on her agenda as something to be accomplished. She was a thinker, a seeker, a student of life, always curious about the bigger meanings of life … and ALL she ever wanted was a family. She succeeded in life magnificently with her family and in all the ways that matter.
She was overjoyed when her grandchildren came along, and they became a huge part of her life. Derek and Andrew “Drews” added even more love and deeper purpose to her life.
An expanded tribute will be posted later, and as anyone who knew Diane Esterly, knew she ALWAYS had a P.S. , so stay tuned if you are her friend and want to read more later. The ripple effects of her knowledge and beliefs, her life actions and choices, and her experiences and character have influenced and affected so many around her. It is certain she is now seeing the complete picture and is astounded by her life’s “work”, which never seemed like “work” to her. A well-lived life? Unequivocally yes.
We profoundly grieve the loss of a truly unique, one-of-a-kind, beautiful wife, incredible mom, and cosmic human being. She will be deeply missed and affectionately remembered by so many across the globe.
Heaven surely gained another angel and by all accounts, she is likely the most eccentric one! Her music and laughter abound in the heavenly halls, and we look forward to the day we are reunited.
As she was a compassionate and enthusiastic animal lover, in lieu of flowers, donations can be made in her name to Wake County SPCA, your local SPCA, or an animal welfare organization of your choosing. Sharing your stories of remembrance is also greatly appreciated.
